Individuality

When a baby is born, so is a mother.

At birth, Arnold thinks he is part of me and never realizes that he is an individual. But over time, as he develops various physical, mental, and emotional skills and grows more confident, he'll start to figure out that he's his own person (with his own body, thoughts, and feelings) and he'll increasingly want to do things his way.

If you ask Arnold what his ideal world is like, I bet he'll be able to tell you that Mom and Dad never ever be out of his sight.

If I leave the room to go to the loo, he cries piteously. If Biajee goes downstairs to get the laundry, he whines till Dad comes back.

The best way to help Arnold through his anxious phase is to understand his concern: he really truly doesn't know whether we'll come back once we're out of his sight. To help him feel confident about our coming and going, and to reassure him that we will always come back, we should never slip away when he isn't looking. If he knows that we could vanish at any moment, he may well become even more anxious. Hard as it can be, we should always say goodbye and go while he's watching.