Black Tuesday

Yesterday was the darkest day of the stock market since Sept. 11, 2001. Dow Jones plunged 416 points, moved by the bad news from Chinese market and the end of bubble economy in China.

This proves a few points:

1) Always have cash on hand so that we could invest whenever such a good opportunity comes up. Our portfolio looked totally bloody except for one stock. Our total loss during the last 2 days averaged almost negative four percent. Dear me, we would not want to beat the market this way.

2) Don't put all the money in the stock market because it might not be immediately liquidable when you need cash.

3) Research before investment and purchase at the best opportunity. If investment was made at the lowest price point for the most promising companies, earnings will not be washed away by a down trending market.

Individuality

When a baby is born, so is a mother.

At birth, Arnold thinks he is part of me and never realizes that he is an individual. But over time, as he develops various physical, mental, and emotional skills and grows more confident, he'll start to figure out that he's his own person (with his own body, thoughts, and feelings) and he'll increasingly want to do things his way.

If you ask Arnold what his ideal world is like, I bet he'll be able to tell you that Mom and Dad never ever be out of his sight.

If I leave the room to go to the loo, he cries piteously. If Biajee goes downstairs to get the laundry, he whines till Dad comes back.

The best way to help Arnold through his anxious phase is to understand his concern: he really truly doesn't know whether we'll come back once we're out of his sight. To help him feel confident about our coming and going, and to reassure him that we will always come back, we should never slip away when he isn't looking. If he knows that we could vanish at any moment, he may well become even more anxious. Hard as it can be, we should always say goodbye and go while he's watching.

Oscar Night

We watched The Academy Awards after Arnold went to bed last night. I fell asleep on the floor after they gave out the prize to Best Song.

"How long will this thing last?" I remembered murmuring to Biajee before I lost my consciousness.

"Oh very late. When I lived on the east coast, I used to watch it till 1 am in the morning." His voice was dandy.

By the time I woke up from my dreams, he already turned off the TV. "Go to sleep in the bed." He looked down at me.

I dragged myself upstairs and sank into the bed. We had a rough night because Arnold woke up three times. I finally got a chance to ask Biajee before we stepped into our cars this morning, "Who won the best actor award?"

"A black guy."

"What's his name?"

"I don't remember."

"Which movie was he in?"

"I forgot."

Jesus! What is the whole point of him watching TV at all? He cannot remember anything.

I came to work finding that my college classmates Rong and Qing had each donated $20 to my Junior Achievement activity. I'm so grateful. I sent the link of the website to a few friends for donations. The proceeds goes directly to the primary and middle schools in Colorado and the donor gets a receipt for tax deduction. It's for a good cause. We do what we can do for society.

Raising Money

I found out that we had to raise money to be able to bowl yesterday. Everyone is supposed to raise mininum of $75 to qualify. Of course, all the VPs and directors have already donated big amounts so I cannot go to them any more. I took the enveloped and asked everyone to donate $1. Biajee chipped in $20 to support my bowling activity. My final amount came to $55. I need to donate on line with another $20 to qualify.

It's a great experience since I never asked for money from other people all my life. It's similar to sales skills, which is very important if we want to start our own business soon. I'm always ashamed of myself when I open my mouth to ask for things from other people. It's a barrier I need to overcome. I need to take Yes and No gracefully. It's also a great learning experience of how to say No to other people. I think it's a big step up for me.

Arnold had a little fever today and was kicked out of classroom by 10 am. Biajee had to take the day off to be home with him, which means he is working tomorrow while I assume my duty of a parent.

Cruise Control

Our cruise control ceased working ever since the accident last year. We finally took it to the dealership last week and was told the bracket of control module was bent, causing the laser beams to aim sideways and think that every car is too close to us. Since it costs over $1,000 to fix it, the dealer suggested that we work with the body shop who did the repair work.

Body shop came back and told us that they would have to order a new control module for us and install it. The parts cost $1,200 but we don't have to pay anything because we already paid our deductible when we filed the claim. It's from the same accident so insurance company owes us a new control module. Body shop already placed the order. When the parts come in we can drop off the Sienna for one day and get the new system installed.

Nothing on an expensive car is cheap. Insurance always wants to save money when it comes to repair the car. In this case, the body shop bent the bracket back to shape last year without knowing the laser beams come out of the bracket.

The Art of Talking to Boss

Seek every opportunity to have fun. My company participated in Bowling for Junior Achievement this Friday afternoon from 2:00 pm to 4:30 pm. I found a way to sign on a bowling team last week. Everyone will have to raise $75 to be able to bowl. Our team lead Gwen is nice enough to have me bowl without raising money. The issue became how to get my boss approve it for me to go bowling, eating pizza and drinking beer (I can't drink) for 2.5 hours on a Friday afternoon.

First, pick a time when the boss is in a good mood. Second, walk into boss' office with coworker Kyle because we are going together and our boss will be the only one who is working that afternoon.

"Hi, how are you doing?" I usually open both my eyes and mouth widely with a fake smile when I try to get something from a supervisor.

"Great."

"We have something to tell you. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" Kyle began.

"Bad news."

"Well, Pei and I have signed up for Junior Achievement's bowling team next Friday. It'll be from 2 to 4:30 pm. Can we go?"

"Ron, I know we need someone in the office, but the company supports Junior Achievement activities. Merchandising needs to be part of it as well. And I already paid $42 for the bowling shirt."

"You bought the shirt before you asked me?" He was a bit upset, but still smiling.

"I had intended to ask you first, but Kyle told me to just order it. I can always sell it on eBay if you say NO." (That's not quite true, because the bowling shirt has my name embroidered on it. How many people would like to bid for a shirt with Pei on the chest?)

"Well, I guess if you guys come in the Saturday afterwards to make up for the work, I could let you go. Just take my approval right now. In case there is any emergency coming up, we may have to change plans."

"No problem, we'll be in Saturday." We said discreetly and were about to sneak out of his office.

"What is the good news?"

"We're healthy people."

He chuckled. We were lucky that we got out of there in a whole piece. Not only do we have to work this coming weekend, but we also worked last Saturday as well and that was Chinese New Year's Eve. We really earned the bowling fun.

Spring Festival

We all went to Judy's house on Chinese New Year's Eve. There were 45 people there. We brought two roast ducks over. There were tons of food, soup and drinks. I had to teach a 17 year old American boy how to play Chinese poker cards. What a drag! I was bad at communicating because he still had no idea how to sort the cards after 3 hours. Biajee took over and couldn't get the mindset through him either. We decided that Arnold would have to learn how to play cards when he is five.

We watched the Spring Festival Party on CCTV and sang KaraOK until midnight. There were still a group of people playing cards there by the time we left. Arnold refused to go to sleep because there was too much going on around him. He always fought against his sleepish eyes. He's been waking up every night at 3 am ever since the party. Parties are really a disturbance to baby's sleep schedule, which is why we cannot host parties that often for a while.

The bone-chilling weather has come to an end. We're enjoying 50 degree temperature every day since Saturday.

Valentine's Special

Today we celebrate Valentine’s Day.

As humans we search for the one:
who will understand us
who will accept us as we are
who will support us when we need it
and who will accept our support

So we date, we meet people at work, at play, at school and all through our life. As we grow closer to a special someone we ask:

Will you still smile at me, As time goes by

Will you laugh at my wit, As the decades roll on

Will your eyes still sparkle for me, As my hair turns gray

Will your kisses hold passion, As life's twilight approaches

Will your heart still flutter, As I walk with my cane

Will you still love me, After all the years.

Today is a joyous celebration as Biajee and I reinstate to family, friends and the rest of the world, our love and commitment to each other. We honor ourselves:

Two hearts, one beat

Two minds, one thought

Two souls, one spirit

Two individuals, one union

Two destinies, one path

Two lives, one lifetime forever

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This is a poem written by my friend Tom Shaw. I've used it twice as my toasting verses of Maid of Honor at two of my best friends' weddings. Pity that I didn't get a chance to use it at my own wedding. It's so beautiful that I want to keep it somewhere safe - preferably my blog site.

Mirror

The right mirror of the Honda Civic cracked with our garage door this morning. The shell was broken, but the mirror is still usable. It was parked too close to the wall last night. Biajee committed to fix it.

Arnold woke up at 1 am this morning, crying because of hunger. He refused to eat before going to bed last night. We are all exhausted, but at least we got up at 5:30 am and were able to go to day care and work early.

I just learned that there was a bulk of poisonous gas and fog above the city of Denver. Newspaper has advised people to stay indoors and not to perform any sports activities outside. Between this and the cockroach we saw on the dining table in a Chinese restaurant on Saturday, I feel like we're coming to the end of the world. I haven't seen cockroaches for years. They only exist in warm damp places like Hong Kong or Florida. On top of everything, Biajee has ordered An Inconvenient Truth that'll arrive tomorrow night. We'll be more upset after we watch the movie.

Sidney Sheldon

Sydney Sheldon died last week at the age of 89. It turned out that Biajee had never read any of his books before. I borrowed two of my favorites for him from the library: If Tomorrow Comes and Master of the Game. I read them when I was in high school. How can he be so ignorant? He is a slow reader. He read till 2 am today and only finished half of the first one. I was thinking he could probably read Rage of the Angel as well when he has time. It's good to take a break from his ivory tower built of physics and pornos.

We watched The Dinner Game, a French movie recommended by il. It is an 82 minute comedy, very funny indeed. The cost of the movie is amazingly low as well since everything happens in a house and major activity is conversation.

Arnold fell from the sofa yesterday and almost broke his neck. I was livid. I'd told Biajee a zillion times not to put the baby on couch because he is no longer immobile. He can turn and roll over now. It happened too fast in front of us. Fortunately Arnold was all right.

He can get a concept of a game now. I played Pee-Kah-Roar with him last night. I walked into the bedroom and roared at him like a lion, then I walked out, disappeared and re-entered with the same roar. He’d bounce up and down and laugh and scream. Then I did that for almost 20 times because I was folding and hanging up clothes. He still cannot crawl forward yet, but he can crawl backwards. It is said kids learn to crawl backwards first before they start to go forward. He can still circle around the earth if he crawls backwards and that's totally fine with me.

I cooked four main dishes yesterday because I decided that we should bring our lunches this week. After I packed our lunches for Monday, Biajee finished eating the rest of all the dishes so we're down to nothing again. I'm overjoyed at the fact that he loved my cooking. The only issue is to find time to cook. I know we'll have to cook delicious and organic dinners very soon because Arnold will soon be able to eat the same food as we do and he needs nutrition. I shall try my best to keep him away from American junk.

Goal

I've lost my 2006 goals for my performance review. It was given to me at the beginning of the year in a hard copy. Of course, after pregnancy, maternity leave and moving my cubicle it's almost impossible to locate it anywhere. I have to recreate it if I cannot find it. I think it's just better to try to find it in the house this weekend. I usually don't throw important papers away. Biajee is worse than me these days. He is a squirrel. He brings home a lot of things and piles them up till a tree grows out of them.

We figured out that we need to give Arnold nose drops to help him sleep well these days. He's been having a running nose for almost 10 days. Poor kid.

We sold our 27 inch TV and queen size mattress for $55 last night. Biajee had asked for $100 when he posted the items. We are not very good dealmakers. The buyer wasn't satified either because her bed was either twin size or full size. I hope she doesn't want to return the mattress because she wrote us a check and told us not to cash it 2 days later.

Birthday

Today is Arnold's 8th birthday - he is 8 months old. It's also the first day that he went to school without breakfast at home. My heart was torn into pieces when I drove him to school. He was screaming and crying all the way there.

We got up late because Arnold woke up at 3 am crying with a stuffy nose. I wish I were a stay home mom, but I do not want to lose my job. My job pays for the health insurance of our family. If I ever get laid off or fired, we won't have any medical coverage and we'll all be under water.

Sometimes I wish I can have infinite energy. I can't afford to hurt my back again or being sick again. Nobody would even cook for Arnold or feed Arnold if I were not there. If believing in God helps, I would have been a Christian in a heart beat.

Passport

We took Arnold to the postoffice yesterday. He is an American citizen. We filled out a form, submitted 2 passport photos of his, paid $52 to US Department of State and $32 to USPS. It's cheaper to take passport photos at Costco. The cost is $4.99 for 2 pictures. You get charged $15 at the Postal Service office for 2 passport photos though. I guess they blackmail people because they have no other choices if they're already standing in the line.

The officer said we wouldn't receive the passport till end of March. Bureaucracy is the same in every country. We also figured out why Arnold was waking up early in the past few days - he didn't have enough to eat at dinner time and woke up starving. I nursed him last night and he slept till past 6 am today. Biajee refused to take responsibility for that because Arnold always thinks the milk bottle is a toy. Whenever I have to work late, Arnold doesn't eat enough for supper.

Arnold has almost fully recovered from his circumcision. He pees into his bathwater 50% of the time. At first, Biajee would hurry and change the whole basin of water for him, but now we just bathe him with his urine from time to time. It really doesn't smell at all since the majority of his food is still breast milk.

NetFlix

Arnold has been this little irresponsible and irritating monster for the past 2 nights. He woke up at 4 am two days in a row. How can he be so ignorant about how other people feel?? After being wrapped up with a clean diaper, he was put next to me and started winking, "Do you know a place where I can get a Drink?" He thinks milk bottles are toys. The real fountain is really mom's breasts. I've heard of people nursing their kid till they're five years old. How drastic! I'm only planning on a full year till he can drink organic cow milk. Nonetheless, I cannot imagine the day that he doesn't need my milk any more. I woulk like to hold him, pet him, nurse him and spoil him till he grows into an adult. I may even follow him into college. Of course, I promise I'll stay completely out of his way....

He just destroyed his favorite toy over the weekend, the little baby drum my dad sent him from China . He bit it open and now it gives out a weird dummy sound every time we shake it.

We signed up for Netflix last week. Our virgin DVD was The Corporation. It's a documentary by Michael Moore talking about the origin of the companies and the evil things they perform on a daily basis. What we learned from the movie was: everyone should buy organic food and drink in this country. RBGH is legal in the United States because FDA approved it mysterically without looking closely to its side effects of causing cancer and other diseases.

Circumcision

I took Arnold to this procedure last Friday. I'm still shriveling when thinking of the whole process. Biajee didn't go with us. The doctors and nurses at the hospital thought I was a single parent. All the children there were accompanied by both parents.

Another mother told me that her son had to have it done twice because it grew out again after the first surgery or it wasn't symmetric. How terrible! I already regretted it the minute I entered the waiting room. If I were to choose ever again, I would never have my son go through this surgery at all.

Arnold got numbed up by breathing in some gas and then being injected a similar drug as epidural into his lower sphine. His face was covered with oxygen mask. I didn't get to witness any of these at all. I don't think I could stand it anyway. My heart was almost broken when the nurse took him away from my arms. The surgery took less than an hour. He woke up 10 minutes after it, feeling nothing and in high spirit. He didn't have anything to eat or drink since 6 am. The surgery was scheduled at 9 am, but Dr. Furness was about 15 minutes late.

We couldn't use baby wipe for about 14 days and would have to take off his bandage in four days. We're applying ointment 2-3 times on him these days. We scheduled a 6 week follow up check on this circumcision. Dr. F said it would completely heal in 3 months.

Arnold was able to hold his own milk bottle now. It usually took us a while to figure out that he was sleepy instead of hungry. He would cry, close his eyes and suck on his fist.